The Women’s Sport and Fitness Foundation have apparently cracked the dilemma of why women don’t play sport. The answer is: hairdryers.
Hmm, this smells to me like a spurious PR survey.
According to figures from a recent survey, cited in The Times, over half of those questioned said that they would do exercise if they could dry their hair afterwards.
I’m not sure it tops my (extensive) list of why I don’t play sport.
In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s nestling somewhere between:
“Because I prefer sitting on the sofa eating biscuits (or, in fact, my own eyeballs) to panting my way round a hockey/netball/you name it pitch”
“Because I have as much grace as the love-child of Bambi and John Sergeant.”
For those of us who are rubbish at sport in all its forms, exercise is just one long, sweaty Hell (or ‘Sporture’, if you will) which even a cut and blow-dry from Nicky Clarke would not tempt me into.
A couple of paltry hairdryers certainly aren’t going to cut it (no pun intended).
Still, a quick glance at some other stats from this survey does make me think that it might not be entirely scientific.
Take this illuminating tidbit, for example:
“80% of women believe that sport should be more like shopping”
Doesn’t that mean ‘an activity which involves little or no physical exercise’?
Or are they envisaging attaching a pair of heavily reduced Jimmy Choos to the front of the running machine, just those few steps out of reach?
Or building a replica Saturday morning Primark experience with punchbags and hurdles?
Even more interesting is the revelation that:
“20% of women think that M&S would design the most female-friendly sports facility, followed by John Lewis and Boots”
M&S is not exactly the first name that springs to mind at the word ‘sports facility’.
Knickers, yes. Pseudo-pornographic food halls, also yes.
Olympic-quality sporting venues, probably not.
So I shall rest easy that I am unlikely to succumb to this particular magic-bullet for female laziness.
Now, if they can design a facility that removes all necessary skill and physical effort from sporting activities, you can count me in.